“The pain you feel is actually a whole colony of tiny Gremlins digging their little claws into your inner nose, desperately clinging to life as you try and drown them! You can snort orange juice up there, though, they like that.”
— Danger Dolan when seeing Gizmo
“It wasn't the T-Rex. It wasn't even the Tyrannosaurus Dolan. It was the Egoraptor.”
“Well, look at all the amazing crazy futuristic technology we have today. Where do you think it all came from if it wasn't aliens?”
— Danger Dolan when seeing E.T.
“Fruit is just awful candy that nobody wants to eat.”
— Danger Dolan when seeing Sportacus
“Since we're all living inside the Matrix, our universe is just one big computer and the lights you see in the night sky are neons inside the computer cabinet. If you strain your eyes really hard, you might see the outline of our X99A AC motherboard with i7 processors and quad channel memory. It's-it's beautiful...”
“That's just what they told you, but as I said, I'm smarterer and I have a hover car.”
— Danger Dolan when riding Ultra Time Machine
“They don't actually move all that fast, they just stay in the air because they consume the helium found in the nectar of flowers, that's why when their wings appear to be moving fast it's just a blur. I mean if they actually moved that fast, they would fly off into SPAAAAACE!!!”
— Danger Dolan when riding Hummingbird
“No, birds evolved from children. If you go to any shopping mall and run up enough of the down escalators, you'll grow more and more feathers until finally wings sprout from your spine, and you will fly. You will flyyyyy!”
— Danger Dolan when riding Bird Glider
“I like to call it the "Gamer-bellum". It controls all your body parts and senses necessary to play the video games, as well as a few other things like remembering to go to the bathroom after your 24-hour game time.”
— Danger Dolan when using Arcade Machine
“This is some crazy Star Trek nonsense.”
— Danger Dolan when riding USS Enterprise
“Dinosaurs lived for millions of years - literally - haven't you ever wondered why everyone calls your grandfather an 'old dinosaur'? It's because after he reaches 100 years of age, he will...evolve.”
— Danger Dolan when riding Velociraptor
“*pfft* ONLY NOOBLETS BREATHE AIIIR! Are you a nooblet!? REAL men develop GILS on the side of their neck in order to breathe FIRE, UNDERWATER... IN SPAAAACE!! *gasp*”
— Danger Dolan when riding Sandy's Rocket
“Ugh, do you mind? It's hard to live when you're killing me all the time.”
— Danger Dolan when respawning
“HAVE A GOOD ONE!”
— Danger Dolan's first line when leaving the game
“Oh well, video's over. I'm off to go lie down and lower my defenses a bit. Will leave the door unlocked in case anyone wants to come visit. Later.”
— Danger Dolan's second line when leaving the game
*It should be noted that three different recordings are used for the instances of this quote, but the same phrase is said, albeit in a different tone.
Danger Dolan uses Archive Audio when he speaks.
Dolan's real name (in Super Planet Dolan) is literally "Anonymous".
When left idle, Dolan will sing the word "fortissimo" to the music Wedding March sung in the video "Are We Running Out of New Music?".